To be included in any of your pictures when they devalue you is the biggest punishment, because now that they have started putting you down, they can’t stand being associated with you. They can’t stand these pictures going on and about and showing people they are with you. They do not want to demonstrate that togetherness. So what do they do? They can literally push you away or stand at a little bit distance from you when these pictures are being taken. The crazy thing is they would want to be included in every other picture, like pictures with your children or other people, but not with you. If pictures are taken, let’s say, during holidays or at great places with you, and if you are in that photograph, they will crop it out and post only their own selfie on their social media handles. You will notice during the devaluation stage that their smile, the fake smile they showed in the idealization stage, is now replaced with a smirk, and you can’t understand why. It’s like somebody is pulling off that cheek, and it’s like nauseating, to say the least. You can’t understand why, but there’s always going to be either a scary look on their face, a disinterested look, a disgusted look, or there is a smirk as if deep down, mocking you, belittling you, or saying, ‘I got you’ or ‘What a fool.’ I do not want to do anything with you, and you are dying to take a picture with me? Wow, I am so important. I’m explaining it this way because trauma bonding can make you do horrible things, things that are all about settling for the bare minimum, which in some cases could manifest as taking a picture with them. If they are not displaying a smirk, they will clearly show annoyance and anger, as if they’re being forced to do so. They do not want to be included; they just want to be done with it because it does not benefit their ego. It’s not about them; it’s about everybody, and they’re just one of those people who are included in that picture. What does that tell you or tell the narcissist? There is equality; you’re like every other person who is standing with you in that picture, and they do not like that. They have this hierarchical mindset; either people are above them or way below them. There is nobody standing next to them. They do not like that. They’ll hate it, and that’s why that annoyance exists. You may also get to see a predatory look on their face. I still remember that one picture I still have in which my father is holding my sister under his one arm and me under the other, and there is this predatory, demonic look on his face as if saying, ‘You are mine.’ I also have a picture of both of my parents together in which my father is literally pushing my mother away because he does not want to take a picture with her, and the photograph probably accidentally clicked that. That is clearly what I’m talking about—an extreme form of devaluation. They do not want to do anything with you at all because they hate you at this point and devaluing you.
3: intentionally putting on a very sad, victim-like face:
About a court victim vulnerable narcissist, if you were to take a picture of a court, vulnerable narcissist, and if this narcissist were to know that you will be sharing it with others or other people will get to see it, then intentionally they will put on a very sad, victim-like look on their face, like this. It’s incomprehensible because minutes ago they would be laughing, and the minute you click the camera and you take a picture, it’s like they wear a mask quite instantly just for that picture. And if the picture is taken as a group picture, then they have to look as the biggest martyr, the biggest victim. How would they be able to do that? By pretending to be really sad in pain so that people ask, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ It’s like they send these cryptic messages through their pictures, especially when they know they’re going to go around, and people will ask questions and then try to console them and finally enable their victimhood. How can I say this? Well, it’s my story. I have seen this all my life with my narcissistic mother, who would do this all the time. And guess what I did? I tried to fix it. The moment I would come across a picture in which she looked sad, I would jump in to extinguish a fire I didn’t light. I would try to fix her emotions but always failed. Never did I know that it’s a failed pursuit. I cannot complete a task that does not have an end.
4: Posting pictures with their new supply after discarding you:
5 reasons why narcissists don’t apologize?
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