Stage number five: they devalue you and treat you like a donkey. This is where the contempt comes in. Jokes that cut. Looks that say you’re boring. Comparisons with exes or with random people online. Triangulation with someone new to make you chase. They call you crazy when you cry. They call you cold when you stop crying. Nothing you do is ever enough. They rewrite history and say you were never supportive. They tell friends and family that you are the problem. The person who once called you magical now calls you “too much.”
The goal is to break your identity so you accept the donkey role. You start to agree with them. “Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I am not special. Maybe I am only useful when I perform.” That is the lie that causes shame. Once you believe it, you will carry anything. You will keep the house running while they cheat, while they drink, and while they disappear; while they gossip about you, you will keep your head down because you’re tired and just want peace.
That is when they either discard you or keep you as long as you serve. If you leave, they may love bomb again and promise change. If you stay, they may see how much more you can hold. Either path keeps the cycle alive unless you break it with truth.
Breaking Free: Reclaiming Your Shine
The truth is simple: you were never a donkey. You were a unicorn who took on too much weight to keep a broken person standing. You can put the weight down. You can step off the field. You can rebuild your shine.
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