Truth number one: Narcissists are desperately lonely but push away everyone who tries to love them. Beneath all the bravado and manipulation, narcissists are profoundly, achingly lonely—not the kind of loneliness that comes from being alone, but the existential loneliness of never being truly known or understood. You have probably felt this sadness radiating from them in quiet moments, when the mask slips, and you catch a glimpse of someone who is terrified of genuine connection because they have never experienced it. They desperately want to be loved, but they systematically destroy every opportunity for real intimacy. As an awakened empath, you can sense the deep yearning for connection, which is why you probably tried so hard to reach them. You felt their pain and wanted to heal it, but you can’t. They sabotage every genuine attempt at love because they are terrified that if you really knew them, you would leave. So, what do they do? They create chaos, pick fights, and push you away first.
Now, you may argue, “Well, if they want love, why don’t they receive it?” The problem is they think they are perfect. The deep shame within is suppressed in the chambers of their heart. They keep that shame, that inner knowing, so suppressed that they themselves remain disconnected from it. But the truth is, they know they do not deserve true love. They would rather be alone by choice than abandoned by someone they care about. This pattern has played out throughout their entire life, leaving them increasingly isolated despite being surrounded by people.
Truth number two: Narcissists are never grateful and see your genuine kindness as fake. This truth will shatter any illusions you had about reaching them. Narcissists are never truly grateful for your kindness, and they convince themselves that your genuine care is fake. It is the ultimate projection. They assume you are as calculating and manipulative as they are because they literally cannot comprehend authentic goodness. You have probably experienced this devastating realization: no matter how much you gave, how patient you were, or how many times you showed up for them, they never seemed to genuinely appreciate you. As an awakened empath, you could sense their dismissiveness even when they said thank you because it was said half-heartedly. It felt hollow because it was. The heartbreaking truth is that they lie to themselves about your motivations. When you show them kindness, what do they do? They immediately start analyzing what you want in return because that is how their mind works. They project their own manipulative nature onto you and convince themselves that your love is just another angle and another game.
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