At work, you might see a colleague showering you with constant praise and unsolicited favors, hinting at an ulterior motive. What you’re checking for is the use of charm as a tool for influence, not genuine connection. When you’re an empathetic person like you and me, we miss these early warning signs because we tend to see the good in everyone. You might think someone’s excessive charm is just them being friendly or needing support, and your kindness makes you want to believe that they’re genuine, making it hard to spot when someone’s actually using charm to control or manipulate you.
In my experience, I didn’t see this rush of charm in the beginning as a red flag. I didn’t recognize the fast-tracking of intimacy as a problem before I had a solid sense of self-worth and boundaries. I had two modes: I either didn’t like you and kept you far away, or I’d dive headfirst into trusting someone completely. I would forge friendships, relationships, and work partnerships in just a few days or even a few hours. Many of us have been hurt because we’ve moved too quickly and trusted too easily, just because we are kind and loving people.
But I’m interested in your take on this; your story and experience matter to this community. If you have time today, please share what you’ve been through and how it felt when someone’s charm seemed too thick.
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