Narcissistic abuse can turn you into a loner, a person who prefers isolation over the company of others, including friends and family. Why? You struggle with symptoms nobody understands, like social anxiety, social awkwardness, agoraphobia, fear of being judged, fear of not being understood, and fear of being taken advantage of. The entire world becomes a dangerous place to explore. So, what do you do as a trauma response? You choose to stay with yourself. Loneliness becomes a constant companion, but unfortunately, others don’t understand that. Others label you as egocentric, an introvert, or someone with no social skills. But today, I’m going to prove to you why it’s okay to be this way and what you can do about it.
Being at home means having control over your surroundings:
Being at home means having control over your environment in a positive way. We’re not talking about narcissistic control where everything has to go your way. We’re talking about predictability and certainty. Being at home means comfort: the comfort your bed offers, the same spot on your couch where you can sit and relax, and watch TV without having to deal with people because your soul is drained. You are going through soul fatigue, and interacting with others feels inauthentic because you don’t have the energy. So, you prefer to stay inside those four walls because it brings you peace. Others might ask, “Don’t you get bored? Don’t you want to talk to others?” Perhaps not. You ruminate and sit with yourself, which gives you space to process everything the narcissist did to you. That’s also a reason why you might not want to see others or go out. You try to dissect the entire relationship to see them for who they are. Whether or not you do it successfully is a different question. It’s about positive control, not having to deal with judgmental, demanding, controlling, or pushy people. You do things at your own pace, without anyone yelling at you or belittling you. You don’t have to walk on eggshells. That may sound boring to those who haven’t been through what you have, but to you, it’s a dream come true. How do I know this? That’s been my life for the last eight or nine years. Most of the time, I am at home, and that has contributed a lot to my healing journey.
It’s your own space, and you can claim it:
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