Have you ever received advice that you didn’t ask for and which somehow made you feel worse about your situation, especially when it seemed like the person offering it didn’t truly have your best interest at heart? So let’s talk about the third clue to identify a narcissist in a conversation: unsolicited advice that’s not always as well-meaning as it appears. Rather than trying to help you, the narcissist is more focused on asserting their superiority and belittling you. This can be really confusing, especially if you didn’t ask for the advice. They wrap their critique in a veil of concern, making you second guess your choices. It’s like they’re using their wisdom to subtly knock you down, all while boosting themselves up. I remember sharing with a family member about an upcoming doctor’s appointment to help me deal with perimenopause symptoms, and she emphatically told me that I shouldn’t go, that if I was stronger, I’d be more like her. I hoped that I’d find connection in sharing this, but I ended up walking away feeling embarrassed and totally dismissed. She not only made me feel like I was making a mistake but also positioned herself as being morally superior for being more natural and avoiding medication or help. After recognizing unsolicited advice for what it often is—a power play veiled as concern—this is where
the reflect and redirect method comes into play. If you’re on the receiving end of unsolicited advice that feels undermining, pause and ask yourself, ‘Does this advice feel supportive, or does it make me question my self-worth?’ A simple way to check and potentially exit the conversation is to say, ‘It’s definitely nuanced.’ If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’ll see them persist or even double down with their advice while they disregard your feelings entirely, prioritizing needing to be right over acknowledging your perspective.
2 Ways a Narcissist Reacts When You Become Silent
Clue #4: Style of Competition
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