Finally, they cheat on you during a fight. This is what I call delusional revenge, and it is one of the most confusing and hurtful things a narcissist does. Imagine you get into an argument—maybe you just disagree about money, or perhaps you take a two-day break to cool off. A normal person uses that time to think, reflect, or be sad. A narcissist uses that time to cheat. Why? Because their brain is broken. They think in black and white and jump to conclusions. The moment you argue or there is a little distance, their brain jumps to a psychotic conclusion: “I am a cheater, so she must be too.” They project their own darkness onto you and start to hallucinate.
This is not just an assumption; it is a full-blown delusion. No amount of therapy works on them because you can do cognitive behavioral therapy with someone who is ready to recognize the gap between reality and the nature of their thoughts. If you tell a person who is not a narcissist that they are generalizing, they may say, “Oh, tell me more. I can see that. I will take a step back and correct my thoughts.” But with a narcissist, they are convinced that their version of reality is the ultimate one. You cannot challenge it; no amount of proof can change it because doing so would mean giving up their certainty, and that would equal defeat—death to a narcissist’s ego. They truly believe you are out there cheating on them.
To counter this delusion, they satisfy it with a behavioral response. They think, “If she is cheating on me, I need to hurt her before she can hurt me,” so they go out and cheat on you. They are fighting a version of you that only exists in their head and punishing you for a crime you never committed. You are at home, crying and missing them, wondering how to fix the argument, while the beast is in bed with someone else, thinking they are winning a game you did not even know you were playing. This shows they live in an entirely different constructed reality—a reality that does not exist outside their heads.
Conclusion
When you examine these four points, you start to see a picture. They demand to be your god. They obsess over you while pretending they don’t care. They have no moral filter regarding their desires, and they punish you for things you never did. This is not the behavior of a person who made a mistake; this is the behavior of a person operating under a completely different set of rules that are not applicable to you. If you have experienced these things, I want you to know one thing: you’re not crazy. You were trying to be a normal person in an inverted world. You were trying to love someone who sees love as a weakness. So don’t try to understand it with your heart; you cannot. You need to see it for what it is and please walk away.
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