The sad reality is that a narcissistic man is not interested in being a father or a husband. He only wants a wife with whom he can produce babies. Why did I use the word “produce”? Well, he wants to use her as an incubator. She is not supposed to have a life of her own; she cannot have needs either. She has to step up and be a mother to him in addition to being a mother to her children. She has to cook, clean, earn, and keep the family running while he gets to play golf, manipulate her, and call her crazy and lazy. He gets to sit on that couch and quite lazily play video games—should I say shamelessly?
Why did I say this? He does not want to be a father because being a father comes with a ton of responsibilities. You have to step up and be there for your spouse all the time. Being a parent does not mean being a Disneyland dad or mom. It’s not about spending that one nice hour with your children when they are behaving well and you can give them good memories. It’s about handling tantrums, sitting with their pain, helping them overcome obstacles in life, and facing the highs and lows. But this narcissistic man is not interested in any of that because it’s way beneath him. It’s for you. You were created to take care of all of that. You were created to change the diapers, stay awake all night while he gets to sleep peacefully, snore, wake up and demand breakfast, and ask for his washed clothes. Meanwhile, you don’t have a routine, you don’t go out and spend time with friends. But when you ask him, “Please, please help me with Alex today, I’m so done, I’m so tired,” he responds, “You’re controlling. You don’t want me to have a life. What have I done to you? What have I done to deserve this? I only get one day off, and you want to steal that. What’s wrong with you? You destroy my life. I mean, you’re the biggest curse to me. I want to get rid of you.”
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