The first stage is spiritual turmoil. This type of pain exceeds psychological pain. When you are psychologically tormented, you struggle with gaslighting, manipulation, and self-doubt. Spiritual turmoil is different; it is your authentic self—the divine being—trying to communicate with you through your experiences. These experiences act as mirrors, revealing that you have been living a lie. The narcissist is as bad as they seem, and you can no longer justify their actions.
You may notice synchronistic events that become unavoidable. For example, a friend from their workplace might reach out to you, revealing secrets they’ve kept hidden, or you might discover suspicious activity in their bank accounts. The point is, you long for your own self-homecoming and seek oneness with the truth. Every event in your life seems interconnected, as if trying to scream a message at you: it’s time to wake up.
This realization can be painfully unavoidable, and you evolve. With evolution comes change and expansion, and as you know, change is always painful. During this spiritual turmoil, you also come to understand that everything you have been forced to believe was merely a societal or cultural construct—something normalized but not actually normal. You see dysfunction everywhere, and it infuriates you to witness the prevalence of narcissism, which is as common as the common cold. This realization pushes you into the second stage: spiritual silence.
Stage 2: Spiritual Silence
In this stage, you may not talk much. You might still be living with the narcissist—be it a partner or a parent—but you are silently observing. Nothing impacts you in the same way anymore. You no longer need to pretend to be calm; it becomes a natural part of your being.
At this point, you not only recognize but truly realize the truth: there’s no point in fighting back because you are fighting someone else’s battle. The narcissist has never chosen to confront their darkness and has projected it onto you. You will not fight on their behalf or shield them from their demons; that is their responsibility.
What follows is nothing less than miraculous. At a subconscious level, you begin rewiring your programming. You start to recognize your worth in bits and pieces. You can see the full picture forming, even if you can’t grasp it yet. You begin to feel self-love when you stand up for yourself in situations that once controlled you. You are starting to escape the matrix. Your silence transforms into spiritual action, changing the course of your life, which may upset many people—especially narcissists—who do not want you to rock the boat.
It is painful for others to wake up and recognize that they have carried burdens for centuries. Breaking that pattern and refusing to sugarcoat reality becomes a nuisance for many, increasing your chances of being attacked. I recently created an episode discussing how no matter how much you heal, you will bother narcissists. This is because the light within you, suppressed by trauma, begins to shine outward, and you can not only see it but feel it expanding throughout your being.
Your silence becomes deafening to these demons as God—or your spiritual being—begins to communicate through your actions. You become a living transformation for yourself and for others. You might feel a bit in limbo as many things may not change easily; sometimes, the process feels slow. But be patient with yourself, because you are moving mountains. The difference lies in the invisibility of this change, which is hidden in plain sight. You can feel this transformation by closing your eyes, sitting with yourself, and letting silence be your best teacher.
Stage 3: Spiritual Awakening
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