3. Sitting in Inconspicuous Spots
While narcissists crave the spotlight, their victims often avoid being the center of attention. Over time, staying out of view becomes a survival mechanism to avoid criticism, manipulation, or conflict. Even after leaving the narcissist’s sphere, you might find yourself sitting in the back or holding back in conversations—not because you lack something valuable to offer, but because you’ve conditioned yourself to remain unnoticed. Recognizing this habit is the first step to reclaiming confidence.
4. Taking Excessive Notes, Screenshots, or Recording Conversations
Gaslighting, a favorite tool of narcissists, involves denying your reality and invalidating your emotions. If you’ve lived with a narcissist, you might develop the habit of documenting everything—taking notes, screenshots, or even recording conversations—to have proof in case the story gets twisted later. As Dr. Shah Steenz points out, this meticulous record-keeping is a defense mechanism born from years of manipulation.
5. Using Headphones Without Sound
To avoid interactions with a narcissist, many people master the “headphones with no sound” trick. By appearing busy, you create an invisible “do not disturb” sign without saying a word. This subtle tactic helps establish boundaries and maintain control over your personal space. It’s a quiet way to avoid confrontation and create a sense of calm.
6. Constantly Fidgeting
Anxiety is a common aftereffect of living with a narcissist. Fidgeting—such as tapping fingers, bouncing your leg, or adjusting your sleeves—becomes a way to release nervous energy. Dr. Ramani Durvasula notes that people who’ve endured narcissistic abuse often carry heightened anxiety and hypervigilance. These small movements are unconscious attempts to cope with the tension.
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