You might think, But they’re in a new relationship. They’ve already moved on and seem happy. However, even in their current relationships, narcissists often carry traces of their previous partners with them.
Their minds operate differently from most people’s. Due to their intense need for control, approval, and attention, they continue to compare their current relationships to past ones. If they didn’t end things on their own terms, their obsession becomes even stronger.
Months or even years later, many people find themselves drawn back into contact with a narcissist because the narcissist’s obsession never truly goes away.
The Role of Object Constancy
Psychologists explain this behavior with the concept of object constancy—the ability to maintain an emotional bond with someone even when they’re not physically present. Narcissists struggle with this.
Their lack of object constancy drives a cycle of idealization and devaluation. One moment, they’re showering you with affection, and the next, they’re cold and distant. However, you remain a part of their internal narrative.
Even when they appear to move on emotionally, they reengage with their preoccupation when they feel the need to regain control or bolster their fragile self-esteem.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, explains that narcissists lack the capacity for genuine intimacy and empathy. Their obsession isn’t motivated by love but by what you represent to them: validation, authority, and control.
Stalking and Social Media
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