Narcissistic abuse can paralyze your decision-making skills. Even simple tasks like cleaning your room can feel overwhelming because you don’t know where to start. Narcissists thrive on making you doubt yourself, constantly criticizing your decisions and making you feel like you can’t do anything right. Over time, this leads to paralyzing indecision, where every choice feels wrong.
As Dr. Judith Herman writes in Trauma and Recovery, trauma survivors often struggle with confidence in their ability to take action. This indecision can spill into everyday tasks like cleaning, where the clutter becomes so overwhelming that you freeze instead of taking action. Trauma therapist Pete Walker, in Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, suggests breaking tasks into small, manageable steps to overcome that feeling of paralysis.
5. Avoiding the Room Because It’s a Triggering Space
After narcissistic abuse, your room can transform from a personal sanctuary into a place filled with painful memories and emotional triggers. Narcissists thrive on creating chaos and confusion, and your room might hold reminders of that turmoil—those times when you felt belittled, neglected, or trapped.
Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon, author of Loving Bravely, explains that emotional abuse leaves lasting scars that get triggered by specific spaces. It makes even the thought of cleaning seem overwhelming. It’s not that you don’t care about your room; it’s just that every time you look at it, the weight of those memories floods in, making it feel unsafe.
This emotional connection to your environment leads many survivors to avoid cleaning or organizing altogether. But taking small steps, like organizing a small corner or making your bed, can slowly help you reclaim that space and make it feel like your own again. It’s a process of healing and regaining control over a place that was once marred by the presence of the narcissist.
6. Associating Tidiness with the Narcissist’s Expectations
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