Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths have an uncanny ability to size people up. They can gain a very good understanding of someone’s character, vulnerabilities, insecurities, and any signs of possible past trauma or abuse in a fairly short amount of time. Unfortunately, they tend to gravitate towards people who have experienced some trauma in their past. Why, you might ask? Because it’s a dance of opposites, one driven by exploitation and the other by survival. Pathological individuals know that trauma survivors often possess a unique combination of empathy, resilience, and an instinctual desire to connect and be loved. These are the exact qualities that disordered predators seek to exploit for their own gain. Unfortunately, trauma survivors represent the perfect prey as they are usually conditioned to tolerate mistreatment, eager to seek approval, and have a deep desire for a sense of belonging. This translates into the perfect target for the pathological person to parasitically attach to.
Today we are discussing why narcissists and individuals with pathological personality disorders tend to be attracted to trauma survivors. The first reason is that trauma survivors are often preconditioned to tolerate abuse due to the environments many of them endured during childhood. Unfortunately, early experiences with neglect, manipulation, or outright abuse can create a dangerous sense of normalcy around mistreatment. Many trauma survivors develop coping mechanisms such as minimizing pain, rationalizing harmful behaviors, or blaming themselves, making them more vulnerable to accepting abusive behavior later in life.
You have to remember that narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are skilled predators. They instinctively recognize this type of childhood conditioning, which is appealing to them because they are looking for easy ways to exploit aspects of another human being. They know that trauma survivors are less likely to call out toxic behaviors or set firm boundaries. For pathological individuals, a trauma survivor’s resilience to hardship becomes an invitation to push limits without fear of immediate rejection. What the survivor views as endurance or patience, the narcissist sees as an opportunity to establish control.
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