When a narcissist interacts with a baby that cannot speak yet, he or she feels like they’re playing with a toy. It’s amusing. When he or she speaks in a nice tone and laughs and plays, it looks all goofy and amazing. But for the narcissist, it is the ultimate source of supply because the baby laughs, the baby moves as the narcissist makes those psychological moves, and that makes the narcissist feel really powerful about his or her capabilities. That’s crazy. That’s demonic. That’s evil. But for the narcissist, that is the ultimate glory, which is why they are drawn to babies because they offer a lot of supply. There is no agency in between that can intervene, and the narcissist can manipulate easily.
Another reason is that they try to paint a picture. The narcissist can very easily sell their projected image to these children by treating them nicely temporarily because they don’t have object permanence yet, which simply means what they see is what they believe about things, and the narcissist pretends to be the nice person, the nice daddy, and the nice mommy, and the child thinks, “Oh, she is the best.” I did that for almost all my life. I thought my mother was an angel because she is a master pretender. She knows how to pretend. She has a wave with words, with her vitality, and she speaks magically to a child, convincing him or her that she is an angel, the best mother ever, the best woman ever, and a very compassionate person. Adults fall for that facade; children don’t even stand a chance.
So what I’m trying to say here is that it’s not about love. It’s not that the narcissist feels love for the children because they are nonjudgmental; they are, of course, not critical. It’s not about safety at all. It’s all about power, control, and the capability to manipulate these little beings who are really vulnerable, who can be fed anything, and there won’t be any rebellion or resistance. It’s about strategically alienating them from you because the narcissist wants the children to believe you are the sole cause and the sole problem behind everything that’s happening in the marriage. Later, years down the line, if you talk about getting a divorce or if you talk about the dissolution of this marriage, who will they blame? You. And it will be easy for them to convince these children that it’s your fault you don’t want to be with their daddy or with their mommy, and they will show a lot of anger towards you without understanding what is actually going on.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
