Small talk can feel like torture for victims of narcissistic abuse. Imagine you’ve been through emotional battles, questioning your reality, your worth, and even your sanity. So when someone asks, “How’s the weather?” or “Seen any good movies lately?” your brain just short-circuits. You’re used to analyzing every conversation for hidden motives, not exchanging casual pleasantries. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, explains that trauma survivors crave depth because they’ve spent so much time deciphering manipulation and deception. Shallow conversations feel meaningless when you’ve had to fight for emotional survival. Instead of chitchatting about weekend plans, you want real conversations—the kind where people are vulnerable, honest, and actively listening. But in social settings, most people stick to surface-level topics, which can leave you feeling disconnected, even lonely. So if small talk exhausts you, it’s not because you’re rude or socially awkward; it’s because your mind craves depth. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through, you deserve meaningful connections.
Feeling Like an Outsider
Have you ever felt like you’re living in a different world than everyone else? You walk into a social gathering, and while others are laughing and chatting effortlessly, you feel like an outsider looking in. It’s not that you don’t want to connect; you do. However, the things that once seemed normal now feel foreign. Even when people are kind, you might still feel distant, like there’s an invisible wall between you and them. How do you talk about your experiences without feeling like you’re bringing the mood down? How do you explain the years of gaslighting and emotional manipulation without sounding too sensitive? Dr. Gabor Maté, in his book When the Body Says No, points out that trauma can create a deep sense of separation, making socializing feel more like a performance than a genuine connection. So if you feel like an outsider in a crowd, it’s not because something is wrong with you; it’s because your experiences have changed the way you see the world. And that’s okay. Finding people who truly get it takes time, but those connections will be worth the wait.
Selective About Their Energy
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
