Are you still up for number six? Inconsistent routines. If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, you might notice that your cleaning routines can feel all over the place. It makes it tough to build healthy habits. One day you might clean like a champ, and the next you might just want to bury yourself under a pile of laundry. As habits expert James Clear puts it, “You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.” Without a consistent routine, it’s hard to make cleaning feel like a regular part of your life. Try starting small, like setting a timer for just five minutes to tidy up one area. By making it a little daily habit, you’ll find it easier to establish a routine that works for you over time.
Perceived Futility
Let’s keep it moving to number seven: perceived futility. If you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you might feel like cleaning is just a waste of time because you believe it won’t make a difference in the long run. You might think, “But why bother? It’ll just get messy again.” That feeling is called perceived futility, and it can sap your motivation. Sometimes just starting with small tasks can help shift that mindset. When you see even a little bit of progress, it can show you that change is possible, even if it feels slow. So maybe pick one spot to clean today—just one. You might be surprised at how good it feels to create even a tiny change in your space.
Reduced Self-Worth
Here comes number eight: reduced self-worth due to trauma. When you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, it can hurt your self-worth, making it hard to feel motivated to take care of yourself, even when it comes to cleaning. As therapist Brené Brown says, “You are imperfect; you are wired for struggle, but you are also worthy of love and belonging.” Remember, self-care isn’t just about cleaning; it’s about recognizing that you deserve a healthy and happy space. Little actions can help you reclaim that sense of worth. Remember this: you matter and deserve to live in a place that feels good for you.
Fear of Taking Ownership
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