The physical revulsion becomes undeniable. Their mere presence in the same space triggers an almost allergic reaction in your body. You feel it in your stomach— that churning sensation that rises up when you’re forced to share the same air. This is not emotional discomfort; your body is literally rejecting their energy, their vibration, and their very essence. You start noticing how everything they do feels orchestrated, performed, and fake. The way they walk with that calculated stride, the way they modulate their voice depending on whom they are speaking to—even the way they eat becomes nauseating because you can see the performance in everything. You can see the ugliness of it all. Nothing feels natural or spontaneous because nothing about them is real or natural.
There is no person. Their breathing, sometimes as basic and unconscious as breathing, becomes irritating to witness. You become hyper-aware of every sound they make, every movement, every gesture, and all of it feels contaminated with their evil nature. Sitting near them becomes physically uncomfortable, like your skin is crawling, as if you need to escape not just mentally but physically from their proximity.
The Liberation from Fear
The fear evaporates completely. And this may be the most liberating change of all. Previously, you walked on eggshells, didn’t you? Constantly calculating their moods, anticipating their reactions, modifying your behavior to avoid conflict. You feared their disapproval, their anger, and potential abandonment. You feared the consequences of speaking your truth, of setting boundaries, of simply being yourself.
But now, that fear has transformed into complete indifference. Deep down, you have already realized that their worst threats mean nothing to you anymore. If they threw you out tomorrow—granted, they have the power to do so—if you had to start over with nothing, if you had to sleep on the street, none of that scares you because you have discovered something more terrifying than poverty or homelessness: losing your self-respect.
You have lived as a doormat for so long, accepting crumbs, tolerating disrespect, compromising your values, and what have you received in return? Nothing but more abuse. The fear of external consequences pales in comparison to the fear of continuing to betray yourself. Your self-respect becomes more valuable than any financial security, more important than having a roof over your head, more precious than maintaining the illusion of a relationship.
The Repulsion of Physical Contact
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