Unexpected response number two: You may see a lot of feigned regret and remorse. The narcissist who never apologized is now trying to apologize. Of course, it’s a fake apology. They may say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry for everything I did. I hope you will trust me again. I hope you will forgive me sometime in the future, and we can have a relationship.” But if you were to ask this narcissist, “What are you apologizing for?” I guarantee they wouldn’t have an answer. They’re reading from a script; that’s all it is. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Deep down, because of their grandiosity and self-righteousness, they can’t believe they could do something wrong. So, this is a fake apology. It’s not coming from their heart; it’s coming from their malice, from their desire to reestablish control, from their want to have you back in their life as their primary source of supply. I’m speaking from experience. When my mother finally realized that she had lost access to me—because I was really enmeshed with her, really her protector and savior—the main goal of my life back then was to keep her alive. I was hyper-anxious around her. That was the type of supply she used to get from me. From calling her ten times a day, I stopped calling her for weeks. That was a big shock. What happened here? How did he wake up? Then came the fake apology, a lot of crying, and playing the victim. She might say something like, “A time will come when you will regret this a lot, but by that time, I’ll be gone; I’ll already be in the grave. You can never have a mother or a father like me. You have a gift, but you can’t recognize it. Please forgive me. I did what I could and did my best.” All of this is just to make you feel bad for distancing yourself from them and give you no space whatsoever to think. First, they will become a victim, and if they feel there is some space they can exploit, they will start love bombing you again. They will first create an inch and then turn it into a foot. They take all the space, all the oxygen—it’s in their nature.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
