What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently

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In other words, underreact to the best of your ability. No matter how much of a performance you have to muster, you can do this. You can actually overreact, or vent, or freak out, or, you know, whatever it is you need to do to express your anger, hurt, and frustration later on when you’re by yourself or with a trusted friend or confidant or any safe person in your support system. Again, if you want to successfully shut this creature down, whatever you do, you’re going to have to find a way to remain cold, detached, and unfeeling, just like they are.

Forget Reasoning

Next, think counter-intuitively. Forget reasoning with this person, being heard, or getting your needs met—it’s not going to happen. You’re not dealing with a reasonable, rational adult here. Rather, you’re dealing with a wounded, entitled, childish ingrate. You’re dealing with someone who, like I said, is willing to go to any lengths to hurt you, to provoke you, to win the right fight, to get their way, to manipulate you, to manipulate the perceptions of others, and to manipulate outcomes. And if they’re resentful and motivated enough, they’re also going to be willing to go to any lengths to seek revenge on you, whatever it takes. And that’s probably the last thing that you need.

The truth is, because they lack a fundamental moral compass or conscience, they will go to lengths that you or I cannot even fathom or imagine. They don’t have the same emotional response to their shocking attitudes and behavior, which is why they’re often so shocking to us, right? They do and say things, they contrive situations and circumstances, they manipulate and play games, leaving great, big, huge chunks of the truth out of the equation. They do all sorts of insane things that you and I couldn’t even conceive of, right?

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