Another thought to hold on to is that you need to cease your efforts to pull them into reality. Their attitude of alternate reality is so strong and entrenched that it becomes almost subconscious in its repetition. They’re committed to untruths. Also, realize you’re going to be the recipient of lots of blame and rejection. When that happens, consider the source and move on. You’ll need to prioritize your own personal healthiness, as they won’t assist you.
Narcissism is, in and of itself, a result of psychological inaptitude. These individuals are narrow-minded and have very little analytical thinking; they just blame and fantasize. That’s what I mean when I say they have this escapist mentality.
Here on Team Healthy, we acknowledge that there are going to be some less-than-ideal situations. Instead of thinking, “I want to run away; I don’t want to deal with this,” we acknowledge, “I’m still responsible for me.” Rather than blaming, coercing, and defending, we ask ourselves, “Who am I, and how can I contribute to healthy criteria?” When the other person chooses not to join us, we still stay the course. That’s what we do on Team Healthy.
The narcissist thinks, “No, I’m running away, and I’m blaming you the whole way out the door.” Meanwhile, I’m here as a realistic person, thinking we don’t have much in common. I’ll consider that as I move forward with you or anyone else who thinks like you.
Let’s keep in mind that narcissists wish to be escape artists. They can’t escape the imperfections of life, but they wish they could. This is just a setup for their personal collapse. Know that they will kick you in the shins while they’re falling apart. That’s why you need to keep your distance from them.
Decide to be the better alternative; be a person of steadiness who takes responsibility. That’s going to allow you to move closer to your place of peace. It’s your way of saying, “I have a healthy outlook on life,” and you’ll do it with a sense of reasonableness. The narcissist can’t go there with you, but I hope you can indeed find your peace.
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