But here’s the reality: narcissists don’t want solutions; they want loops—endless cycles of hope, heartbreak, repair, and repeat. As long as the empath is stuck trying to fix what’s broken, the narcissist stays in control. So when that door slams—really slams—the narcissist has no choice but to scramble. They plot, they stalk from the shadows, and they throw out bait, hoping for just one bite. But if the empath holds firm, if that door stays shut, locked, deadbolted, the game is over, and the narcissist knows it.
Let’s get something straight: the narcissist never wanted a healthy relationship. That was never the goal. The goal was control, power—keeping you stuck in an endless loop of hope, heartbreak, and self-doubt. And for a long time, it worked. Empaths fix things; they see the good in people. They believe that if they just try a little harder, give a little more, find the right words, then maybe, just maybe, the narcissist will finally get it, finally change. But they don’t change.
Eventually, the empath realizes this—not just in theory, but in a deep, gut-level way. This is the last straw. And that’s when it happens. The door slams—no crack open, not slightly ajar, but slammed shut, bolted, deadlocked. That sends the narcissist into a tailspin because they never expected it. They count on the empath reaching out; they depend on it. They’ve seen the patterns—how many times the empath has second-guessed themselves, hesitated, tried one last time to make things right. They’ve been banking on that cycle continuing forever.
So when the messages stop, when the phone doesn’t ring, when the social media stalking isn’t happening—panic. That’s when they start throwing out bait. It could be subtle, something vague—a random accidental text, a cryptic post designed to make the empath wonder. Or maybe they go for the full dramatic performance, playing the victim, stirring up chaos—anything to trigger an emotional reaction. Because that’s the real game here.
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