Another common sign of this extremely dangerous woman is that many of her behaviors may be considered criminal. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder have a blatant disregard for laws, boundaries, and socially honorable behavior. They feel that societal rules do not apply to them. As a result, she may scam people out of money, lie, or use other people’s identities to obtain credit cards or loans. There have been numerous stories involving clients whose homes have been vandalized after they ended a relationship with one of these women.
Moreover, if she feels that one of her intimate partners is aware of her true nature or if she feels betrayed or threatened, it is not unheard of for her to fabricate outright lies, suggesting that her partner is a violent physical abuser. She may even inflict injuries on herself, contacting the police in an attempt to have her partner arrested or to file for a restraining order for domestic abuse. I have heard troubling stories about women like this calling Child Protective Services on someone they wish to destroy, claiming that person is a child abuser.
If you find yourself involved with this type of woman, take these warnings seriously. Nothing is off-limits to her.
So, what should you do if you discover that this type of woman is involved in your life—whether as an intimate partner, friend, coworker, boss, or even a neighbor? First, under no circumstances should you alert her that you have figured her out. That would be a significant mistake and would almost guarantee that she will target you for revenge. Instead, try to back away slowly. Sometimes, it can be helpful to use the “gray rock” method, which involves becoming boring. Start to slowly withhold the narcissistic supply she is getting from you.
Try to figure out what it is about you that she envies and take steps to remove those qualities from your life, if possible, to diminish her interest in you. The ultimate goal should always be to establish no contact. However, if you implement no contact too abruptly, she may perceive that as a threat, which complicates things further.
If you’re struggling with what to do, reach out to someone who understands these types of women for support, whether that be an educated therapist, support group, or a narcissistic abuse recovery coach like myself. Most individuals who find themselves involved with such women will need support during this challenging time.
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