Keep in mind that the cycle will continue. The narcissist remains the only constant in the abusive pattern. They understand that their mental state traps them, that their anxiety-ridden life is a cycle, and they know they change shape and wear masks to manipulate people. Sometimes, they even acknowledge they are fake. They want to feel superior to you because of that. When you returned home from living with the narcissist under the same roof, you didn’t know what to expect—Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
The type of relationship you had was never clear. Then, you Googled “spouse won’t talk to me” or “verbal abuse” and found a needle in the haystack. You had your first breakthrough. Your journey revealed who you would become and what a narcissist truly is.
Narcissists never thought you’d figure out who they were. They never assumed you were smart enough to conduct research or connect the dots. Just like they did when they first approached you during the relationship, they were conducting their own investigation and profiling you. They wanted to know your assets, resources, hopes, dreams, aspirations, goals, and background, along with your previous romantic relationships and relationships with family members and siblings.
They wanted to research and profile you to understand how best to exploit you. One day, they thought, “This person will be my next resource or fuel.” Whether it lasted a few weeks, months, years, or decades, they were intent on clinging to you. If it was a romantic relationship, they aimed to make you fall in love with them or befriend you and keep the relationship going. They got close to you so they could abuse, manipulate, and lie about who they were because they were hiding behind a mask. They knew that your health and resources would decline each day you stayed with them. They were aware because they had done this repeatedly.
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