Another thought is that when you are free, you should be aware of the consequences of your behavior. The narcissist will say, “If you do what you want, I’m going to make you pay.” They want to make you miserable. However, you get to decide what the consequences will be if you choose to live according to your own preferences. If the narcissist thinks they will punish you or make you feel miserable for expressing yourself, they can try, but you ultimately decide how you want to react. You might say, “If you want to withdraw from me or condemn me, I can live with that because I am comfortable with who I am.”
As we discuss your freedom, let’s acknowledge another primary thought: not only are you free to be who you are, but so is the narcissist. As you engage with that person, rather than thinking, “They need to stop this behavior,” or “Why can’t they be more this way and less that way?” remember that it’s fair to share with them what works for you, but ultimately, they get to be who they want to be. If they want to be angry, harsh, or upset, they are free to do so. It’s not your responsibility to think for them, just as they get to ask the “Who am I?” question, just as you do.
Let me give you an analogy as we wrap up. The narcissist tends to operate within what I call an “inside the mold” mindset. Imagine a dog that lives fenced in a backyard. The yard may be beautiful with everything the dog needs, but when the dog looks around and sees only a fence, it may burst out and run when the gate opens. That dog wants to escape someone else’s constraints and experience freedom.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
