So, my question to you is: If the narcissist dislikes the idea of your freedom, what do you think about it? Do you like the idea of being free? Typically, when we talk about the word “freedom,” it has a positive connotation. Here in America, we love to discuss freedom, and we even have a holiday dedicated to celebrating it. However, the controller is very much an anti-freedom type of person.
Freedom is defined as the privilege to choose. A free person realizes that life is full of options and that you can select whatever option you want to determine how you will live your life. Meanwhile, the narcissist thinks, “Why do you need to choose based on what you want? I have already outlined what you’re supposed to be; just look to me, and I’ll tell you the answers.” They completely overlook your ability to choose for yourself.
Let me give you a simple illustration. Suppose a family member says or does something that causes agitation or annoyance in you. What will you do with that feeling? The narcissist already has the answer: “Stop feeling that,” or “Just do what I tell you.” They want you to conform to their preferences and filter everything through their opinions. But what if you feel agitated and annoyed? Would you be willing, as a free person, to say, “Let me think about what’s prompting me to feel this way? What is this emotion trying to communicate within myself?” Then, you can act in a way that aligns with your preferences and interpretations. Can you think like that?
It might cause some problems, but can you think of it that way?
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