Now, let’s bring this full circle to the narcissist’s rage. The same is true in reverse. Narcissists also get triggered when they see their shadow aspects in others. What’s key here is that the aspects in a narcissist’s shadow are often the very things that codependents value most: kindness, compassion, empathy, and emotional connection.
These traits can be very triggering to a narcissist, especially when they feel vulnerable. When they see you display these characteristics—traits they have deemed undesirable or shameful—they react with rage. These were once parts of themselves that they relegated to the shadow because they decided those aspects were unacceptable.
If narcissists and codependents are two sides of the same coin, both dealing with shadow aspects, why does one hurt others and the other hurt themselves? The answer becomes clearer when we look at what each personality values. Codependents value compassion, selflessness, and connection, while narcissists value self-importance, power, and control.
continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
