You might find them making last-minute efforts, such as suggesting counseling or reading marriage books together, in a desperate attempt to appear as if they tried. As soon as you walk out the door, they can twist the story to claim that they attempted to save the relationship but were caught off guard when you left.
I want to be clear: I’m not suggesting you stay with them just to frustrate them. You need to leave, go no contact, block them, and not allow them back into your life, as they will attempt to control and manipulate you.
Be cautious when dealing with a narcissist; you never know what’s happening beneath the surface. They are often trying to get you to leave so they can change the narrative and present themselves as the victim.
In my own life, there was a time when my wife separated from me, and during that period, I became callous and hard. I found myself hoping she would leave so I could tell the next person that I had tried, but she didn’t want to put in the effort anymore. This manipulation of the narrative was something I thought about frequently.
Typically, if a narcissist is trying to push you out, they already have a plan. They may have a new destination in mind, a job opportunity, or, more often than not, another person they are already in contact with. A narcissist often has someone lined up when they are ready to discard their current partner.
They will lie, manipulate, and gaslight to force you to leave or move out, allowing them to reshape the narrative and protect their ego. They will claim they tried everything; it just wasn’t enough.
Unfortunately, a narcissist will lie and change the story regardless of your actions. The most important thing is to focus on yourself—your growth and healing. That’s what will help you become the best person you can be.
Don’t worry about them or where they’re going in life. What matters is you. If you have children, focus on their development, as that is the greatest blessing and the best way to ensure they grow up to be healthy, well-adjusted individuals.
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