1. They’re Addicted to the “Supply” (And You’re the Drug)
Narcissists need constant validation like an addict needs a fix. This is called narcissistic supply—the attention, admiration, or drama that fuels their fragile ego.
- Phase 1: Love-Bombing
They overwhelm you with affection, gifts, and future-faking (“Let’s get married!”) to hook you. This isn’t love—it’s bait.- Red Flag: If they say “I love you” within weeks or claim you’re their “soulmate” before knowing your middle name, run.
- Phase 2: Devaluation
Once they’re confident you’re hooked, they start criticizing, gaslighting (“You’re too sensitive”), or triangulating (“My ex would never act like this”). Their goal? To keep you insecure and desperate for their approval. - Phase 3: Discard
When you’re no longer useful (or when they find a new source of supply), they vanish. No closure, just silence—or blame-shifting (“You ruined everything”).
2. Love = Control (Not Connection)
For narcissists, relationships are power struggles. They use “love” as a weapon to manipulate, not to bond.
- The Jealousy Game:
They’ll accuse you of flirting to keep you on edge, or sabotage your career to ensure you stay dependent.- Real Story: Sarah’s narcissistic husband “forgot” to tell her about a job offer he knew would require her to travel. He later admitted, “I didn’t want you to realize you didn’t need me.”
- The Double Standard:
They demand loyalty but cheat, lie, or flirt openly. Why? To prove they’re above the rules that apply to you.
3. They’re Terrified of Real Intimacy
True love requires vulnerability—sharing fears, flaws, and dreams. But narcissists armor themselves with grandiosity to hide their crippling shame.
- The Mask Never Comes Off:
You’ll notice they’re always the hero, victim, or martyr in every story. They’ll never admit mistakes or insecurities.- Example: After losing his job, Mark blamed his boss, the economy, and even his dog… but never considered his own laziness.
How Narcissists Fail to Destroy God’s Chosen Ones
Part 3: How to Spot a Narcissist Before They Destroy You
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