The fifth mind game involves finding your flaws and using them against you.
During the early stages of your relationship, you might confide in them about past mistakes or vulnerabilities. Initially, they may seem understanding, but later, when they feel the need to gain an advantage, they can throw those past vulnerabilities back in your face. They may say, “I know what your character is like,” and bring up that mistake from two years ago, undermining the trust you thought you had built.
The sixth mind game is portraying themselves as victims.
Narcissists often need to appear blameless, claiming, “I would never have made this mistake if it weren’t for someone else’s actions.” They deflect responsibility for their failures by blaming others, including you, ensuring that they maintain a facade of innocence.
Finally, the seventh mind game involves speaking in terms of obligation.
They communicate as if life consists of a long list of rules and regulations, often using an imperative style: “You have to do this,” or “You must comply.” When you assert your independence by saying, “I don’t want to do this,” they may double down, insisting that you must comply regardless of your feelings. This regulatory mindset keeps you in a subordinate position.
As you recognize these mind games, understand that the overarching goal for narcissists is to make you lose your sense of uniqueness and independence, forcing you to conform to their demands.
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To counteract these tactics, here are some key thoughts to keep in mind:
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