Would you consider yourself a lifelong learner? Knowing that pain exists, would you be willing to learn from it? While some suggest embracing pain, I believe in recognizing its presence and asking, “What lessons can I take from this?”
As you grapple with the question of how to manage your pain, it’s helpful to seek answers to the “why” questions. Understanding others’ motivations can provide some objectivity, even if you never fully grasp every reason.
However, there are “why” questions that lead to no satisfying answers. We must accept the mysteries of life and continue to ask ourselves how we can respond positively.
Consider how goodness and decency play a role in your life. Can you maintain these values despite the pain? Is there a purpose beyond your current struggles?
Dr. Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, said, “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing: your freedom to choose how you will respond to a situation.”
I hope you can decide that, despite your pain, you have the privilege to choose who you want to be. Choose love, gratitude, boundaries, respect, empathy, and transcendence. Recognize that while pain exists, so does goodness and meaning.
Narcissists cannot effectively answer the question of how to manage their pain. I encourage you to be a thinker, an intuitive, and an insightful individual who strives to learn throughout life. This approach can provide a steadiness that narcissists lack.
I hope this discussion offers you insights into dealing with narcissists, who are often deeply painful individuals, burned out from the inside out.
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