Today, I will precisely teach you how to trigger a narcissist’s shame response to minimize their abuse and corner them. Before you comment and say, “Doesn’t that make you a narcissist as well? Why would you want to shame them? Why would you want to hurt them on purpose? Where is the difference between you and them?” watch the entire episode to understand why, when, and how to trigger their shame.
The most commonly given advice to almost all survivors of narcissistic abuse is: you should leave, you must not look back, the only way to deal with your situation is to leave. But it’s not as simple as that. Different survivors, different situations, different experiences, and different circumstances. A lot of people have children with these monsters. Some of us are in touch with them because they are our parents. Many are entangled in the web of this narcissistic abuse because they’re dealing with their families. So, in such scenarios, “you must leave” does not always apply. Yes, your focus should be on leaving—that should be the ultimate goal—but sometimes you need to manage them. You need to use their narcissistic traits against them so that they do what you want them to do without bothering you too much. One such trait that you can use against them is their shame-driven nature.
Narcissists are extremely shame-avoidant. They don’t want to feel or experience it because this emotion sits heavy on their chest and makes them feel vulnerable. So they go to any extent, they stoop to any level possible to avoid experiencing shame. And that is what you are going to take advantage of. When? When you are not able to have them cooperate with you, when honesty, transparency, and amicability are not working, and they are adept at punishing you, bringing you down, torturing you, weaponizing your relationship with the children, destroying them, and doing all sorts of nonsense that makes it extremely difficult for you to live a normal life. That’s when you use their shame against them.
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