Narcissists are adept at identifying and cataloging the small faults of family members. These minor grievances are stored as future ammunition. They introduce subtle criticisms aimed at these faults, gradually painting a picture of the family as uncaring and flawed. For instance, they might comment, “It would be nice if your brother called you every now and then,” sowing seeds of doubt and discord.
Escalating Hostilities
Over time, these subtle criticisms evolve into more direct and frequent attacks. The narcissist wants their spouse to become offended and distanced from their family, so they ramp up the intensity and frequency of their negative comments. This constant repetition makes it difficult for the spouse not to start believing these distortions, especially when they come from a trusted partner.
Provoking and Manipulating Family Members
Narcissists excel at subtly provoking family members. They learn their weaknesses and triggers, delivering underhanded compliments or making comments designed to elicit negative reactions. When these family members respond, the narcissist feigns innocence, claiming they can’t say anything right. This reactive abuse tactic paints the family as antagonistic, reinforcing the narcissist’s narrative to their spouse.
Twisting the Truth
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