What happens to a child who feels invisible to the one person who’s supposed to care the most? If a parent left—whether physically or just emotionally checked out—you probably felt like you didn’t matter. Maybe they were lost in addiction, too busy, or simply uninterested. No matter what you did, you couldn’t get their love or attention. That kind of silence leaves a deep wound, one that says, “I must not be worth staying for.” To survive that pain, maybe you told yourself you didn’t need anyone at all. You built walls and acted like you were above needing love, or you demanded loyalty from others to prove you mattered. But underneath that tough or confident mask might still be that abandoned kid just trying to believe they’re enough.
If you saw yourself in any of these childhood patterns, it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions—confused, sad, maybe even angry. The truth is, no one gets through a painful childhood without picking up some kind of armor, and yours may have looked like control, people-pleasing, or pushing others away. Whether you became the one who hides behind a mask or the one hurt by someone who does, this awareness is the first real step toward healing. You’re not defined by what happened to you. You have the power to break the cycle.
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