The moment a narcissist realizes you have figured them out, you stop being a partner and instantly become their mortal enemy—a threat that needs to be neutralized. They do not look at you with love or even regret; they look at you like a criminal looks at a witness who has just found the murder weapon. There is no conversation to be had, only a frantic, desperate attempt to discredit you before you can show the world who they really are. They know that you hold the keys to their absolute and total destruction, and their survival instinct, which I would say is a predatory instinct, kicks into overdrive. They will not try to win you back; they will try to break you so that no one will ever believe a word you say.
Today, I am going to show you how a narcissist knows you have figured them out. It starts with a shift in the atmosphere that is so heavy you can almost taste the metallic tang of their fear. You haven’t screamed, thrown anything, or even said the words “I know what you are,” but they know. They know because the energy system of the relationship has suffered a catastrophic voltage drop. For years, you were their battery—the one who supplied the emotional electricity, the anxiety, the tears, the pleading, and the constant striving to be good enough. That energy was their life force. But the moment you figure them out, you subconsciously cut that fuel line; you are still physically in the room, but your spirit has left the building. They feel this absence like a sudden blast of cold air.
They try to poke you, provoke you, or guilt you, but instead of getting a rush of emotion, they hit a wall of dead silence. They realize that their remote control—the one they have used to trigger your pain for years—has stopped working. And that silence terrifies them more than your screaming ever did. This leads directly into what happens in their eyes. You will catch them staring at you, but it’s not the stare of a lover; it’s not even the stare of an angry spouse. It is the stare of a predator assessing a threat. They see the change in your eyes; you have stopped looking at them with confusion or adoration. You have developed what I call the “X-ray stare.” You’re looking through the mask at the shivering, broken, pathetic creature hiding behind the bravado.
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