A covert narcissist is called the most dangerous type of narcissist for good reasons. The abuse from such a narcissist is very hard to recognize because they always stay in victim mode, and you don’t feel like they could be narcissistic. Their grandiosity and entitlement are very hidden, which is the opposite of what you would expect in a narcissist. Being with a covert narcissist is akin to being left in a room filled with odorless poisonous gas—you can only feel the suffocation and the impact. It’s also like being stabbed by invisible knives; you see yourself bleeding but don’t know exactly what’s happening to you. Because of their constant manipulation and gaslighting, you end up thinking that you’re causing all of this yourself.
These individuals wear different masks to elicit emotions from people and extract “supply.” They know how to behave to recruit you as their enabler or as a “bulldog,” so you can act and function for them while they enjoy playing the victim. One of their biggest tools is the modulation of their voice. Yes, they modulate their voice in different ways, quite selectively, to elicit a certain kind of response from their target. And that is what we will thoroughly discuss in today’s episode.
There are four main types of voices used by narcissists. The first two are typically used by covert types, while the last two can be used by both.
The first voice is excessively sweet. It’s inviting, bubbly, open, kind, and respectful. A narcissist puts on this mask of sweetness when trying to manipulate a new source of supply. When a new person enters their territory, it’s a chance for the predator to hunt. They project an image of being open, joyful, and far from malice and hatred. They appear kind, helpful, altruistic, and wise—someone you’d want to connect with. This sweet voice is a form of love bombing, as the narcissist brags subtly about their life, children, spouse, and house. Though it may seem humble, it’s actually a way to extract admiration and attention.
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