Tragically, those caregivers are often the family’s scapegoats—the ones the narcissist has hurt the most. But now, because nobody else will tolerate their behavior, they are the ones who show up. By this point, every family member wants to stay away. They are treated as burdens. People wish for their death.
I remember my grandmother pleading with God to take my ailing grandfather. She would say, “Why isn’t he dying? I’m just so done with him. He makes my life a living hell. When is this going to end?”
Their children, grandchildren, even their closest relatives avoid them—not out of cruelty, but because their behavior has made it unbearable to be around them. The narcissist is left to sit alone, day after day, with no one to talk to, no one to care for them emotionally, and no one to listen to their endless complaints.
A vivid image comes to mind—my frail, fragile grandfather staring blankly out the window with hollow, psychopathic eyes, waiting for the angel of death to take him.
The Final Irony: Ego’s Undoing
One of the most fitting punishments for a narcissist is the loss of their mind. Dementia, Alzheimer’s—these illnesses strip away the very thing they relied on to manipulate others: their brain. The brain they once used to gaslight, deceive, and control now betrays them.
They forget the lies they told. The games they played. The tactics they mastered. They can’t even remember their own name, let alone the web of deception they once thrived on.
My father, for example, used to be terrified of forgetting things because he had told so many lies. He couldn’t imagine living without the ability to maintain his false narratives. While he doesn’t have dementia, I’ve seen the fear in his eyes—fear of losing control.
And yet, even in their weakened state, narcissists do not change. They do not find humility. They do not seek forgiveness from those they have harmed. They cling to their old ways, even as their body and mind betray them.
Why Does God Allow This?
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