Regret is a deeply human emotion. It sneaks up on us in quiet moments—when we reflect on people we’ve hurt, opportunities we missed, or the person we once were. For most people, regret is tied to empathy, growth, and the awareness that we are capable of making mistakes. It helps shape who we become. But what happens when someone is emotionally wired to avoid vulnerability, to see themselves as blameless, and to deflect responsibility? This is where the question of narcissism and regret becomes particularly complicated.
To understand whether narcissists regret anything when they look back on their lives, we have to consider the way narcissistic minds function. Narcissists are often driven by a fragile sense of self, masked by an exaggerated persona. They construct an image of superiority and confidence not because they are secure—but because they are deeply insecure. Regret, in its pure form, would require them to confront their shortcomings, to admit they’ve caused harm, or to acknowledge their own limitations. And for many narcissists, that is simply unbearable.
That said, not all narcissists are the same. Some people with narcissistic traits may occasionally reflect on their past with a twinge of sadness or loss. But this regret is usually superficial. It’s not the kind of regret that comes from recognizing the pain they’ve caused others. Instead, it tends to center on what they lost—status, control, admiration, or the comforting illusion that they were always in the right. A narcissist may regret that a partner left them, for instance, but not because they realize they were abusive or emotionally unavailable. They regret being rejected. They regret not being the one to walk away first. Their feelings are often more about ego than about empathy.
This book helped me break free — it might help you too: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
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