Today, we’re diving into a question many of you grapple with: Did the narcissistic person love me? Let’s explore this together.
This is a crucial question, especially after enduring the rigors and emotional turmoil of a narcissistic relationship. Whether the individual in question is a parent, partner, sibling, or anyone else you hoped would embody love, this inquiry often lingers in your mind. After years of being in these relationships and perhaps hearing “I love you” repeatedly, it’s natural to wonder: Did they ever truly love me?
The Complexity of Love
This is a complicated question, and I often revisit it in different contexts because it causes so much distress. The words “I love you” can feel incredibly powerful, yet they can also be some of the most casual phrases we throw around. Often, we say them to end a conversation or to respond when someone tells us they love us, without pausing to reflect on what those words actually mean.
In a narcissistic relationship, the actions of the narcissist often do not align with what we would consider love. Instead of love, you may encounter lying, cheating, mocking, or invalidation. When a narcissist claims to love you, it can feel like gaslighting—what they say doesn’t match their actions.
Asking a narcissist, “Do you love me?” can lead to frustration. You’re unlikely to receive a straightforward answer. The writer bell hooks once said, “Imagine how much easier it would be for us to learn how to love if we began with a shared definition.” But in narcissistic relationships, that shared definition is absent.
What Does Love Mean to a Narcissist?
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