I guarantee that every single narcissist will fail the five tests I’m about to share with you. No exceptions. Why am I so sure? Because a narcissist is not living a real life; they are performing a role. They are actors on a stage. Like all actors, they have lines they have memorized and scenes they can control. They know how to play the perfect partner while the lights are on and the audience is watching. But these tests—these tests are unscripted. They force the narcissist to improvise in situations that require real human feelings, genuine empathy, self-control, and actual maturity. These are three things a narcissist simply does not possess.
When you apply these tests, you are not manipulating them; you are merely handing them reality. Since they are allergic to reality, their mask will slip. They can fake charm and future plans, but they cannot fake the fundamental character traits required to pass what I’m about to show you.
Test 1: The Finances Test
Number one is the finances test. Let’s start with money. Money is the easiest way to see who you are really dealing with. For a normal person, money is just a tool; it pays the bills, buys groceries, and secures a future. For a narcissist, money is a weapon; it is power. To run this test, you have to challenge their power. You can do this in several ways. Perhaps you tell them “no” to a big purchase they want to make, suggest a strict budget because finances are tight, or simply watch how they handle your money versus theirs. Watch what happens.
A healthy partner will sit down with you, look at the numbers, and say, “Okay, let’s make this work together.” A narcissist will look at you as if you’ve just declared war. They fail this test because they cannot handle limits. To them, a budget feels like a cage. They believe they are special and that the rules of math do not apply to them. They will recklessly spend money on things that make them look rich or successful, even if the electricity is about to get cut off. They may buy a luxury watch while you struggle to buy food, or they will hoard their money like a dragon sitting on gold, draining your bank account dry. They will make you pay for everything, scream at you for buying a coffee, and then come home with a new car the next day.
Why do they do this? Because in their mind, what is yours is theirs, and what is theirs is theirs. Financial caution feels like an attack on their freedom. If you try to manage their finances, you are stripping them of their control. And without control, they feel empty. So they fight you; they hide money, lie about debt, and spend to punish you. They fail this test because they cannot be a partner; they can only be a master.
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