You do not truly defeat a narcissist just by leaving them. You do not defeat them by blocking them or going no contact. In many cases, that’s only the beginning of a war because the real battle often starts after separation. It begins when the narcissist realizes they have lost control over you and decides to fight back in ways you may not expect or be prepared for. For many survivors, the first defeat occurs when you walk away. Perhaps you exposed their lies, confronted their behavior, or simply chose peace over chaos. Either way, their ego takes a direct hit. However, for a narcissist, that first defeat is not the end; it is the trigger. It is the moment they retreat to plot. They start thinking, planning, and strategizing. This time, it’s not just about emotional manipulation. No, it involves legal attacks, financial control, social sabotage, and psychological warfare. They want to make you believe there is no way out. They aim to bring you to your knees and prove you can never win against them.
This is where the second defeat comes in. It’s far more brutal and strategic than the first. It happens when they launch their full-scale revenge campaign against you, and you still manage to turn the tables on them. They think they are on the verge of triumph, and suddenly their entire plan collapses.
The First Defeat: Emotional Blow
The first defeat of the narcissist is usually emotional. It occurs when you walk away, set boundaries, expose their lies, or simply stop playing their game. You may have already gone no contact or confronted them. As I mentioned earlier, you may have simply chosen yourself, right? Whatever the form, the first defeat hits their ego hard. They experience a major narcissistic injury, and their fragile self-image cracks. This is the moment when you stop feeling their sense of superiority and grandiosity. For many survivors, that feels like the end. But for vindictive narcissists, this is just the beginning of their revenge arc.
The Second Defeat: Strategic Warfare
continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!