I want to talk with you today about a topic that I hope helps you understand the core pattern of narcissism that leads to its own demise. Narcissists are on a path toward personal collapse and decomposition.
I’m going to start this discussion by reminding you that every one of us experiences some form of psychological pain—there are no exceptions. Each of us has faced unfair hurt, whether through ostracization, ridicule, ongoing anger, contempt, or abusive treatment from others. It could be rejection from loved ones or adult children who have distanced themselves from you, often coached to do so. The possibilities are broad.
When we experience emotional pain, we often ask questions like, “Why me?” or “This seems so unfair.” My response is often, “Yes, it is unfair.” Sometimes, we feel like we are in a losing circle, with no options in front of us.
In those moments, one question emerges that determines whether we thrive or collapse: How should I manage my pain?
When faced with trauma or difficult circumstances, we may not be very objective. Sometimes, we’re forced to answer the question of how to manage our pain when we are too young or immature to respond appropriately. Patterns are established long before maturity catches up with us. The key is to recognize that hurt and pain exist and to figure out how to manage them in a way that leads to growth rather than collapse.
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