Underneath that facade, underneath that sweet, charming, kind personality, there is a zombie that lives, that feels nothing at all. The proof of which was given by a narcissist to me with whom I had an accidental session a couple of months ago. And I asked her in a last session, ‘Please be honest, what do you feel when you cry, when you smile, when you express or pretend to express emotions?’ And with a very flat face, that person told me, ‘Nothing. I don’t feel anything at all. It’s just that I know that’s how I’m supposed to act. I act that way. I follow the script.’
Their shame drives them in everything they do, and they project it on others.
A small thing comes out of your mouth, maybe as some form of feedback, or it has nothing to do with them, and they personalize it. You’re talking about somebody as a partner and how badly they treat their own partner because they know they’re doing it as well. They personalize it and blame you for criticizing them, for belittling them, and putting them down, which they can’t stand. They have the gut to tell other people how they should live, what feelings they should experience, and how they should think, and so on, but can’t get a hold of their own emotions. They always think you are making them feel a certain way. They say things like, ‘Oh, I did that, I said that because you made me feel that way. I abused you because…’ and you know how the justification goes. At the same time, they are the most shameless people you will ever come across. That’s a contradiction, isn’t it? Why most shameless? Because they don’t care about consequences, they don’t foresee implications, they do not care about impact. They only care about what they are getting in the moment they are abusing you. They are impulsive and are driven by the high, so that makes them extremely shameless. They don’t care about morals or morality, they do not care about good or bad at all, which makes you a highly dysfunctional unit in this society. No matter how well-established or influential you are, if you are this dysfunctional, this disconnected from yourself, and this disoriented, everybody is going to think you are crazy, you are a loser, and you have achieved nothing in your life.
They end up losing everybody who cares for them: family, friends, parents, partners, children, colleagues, everybody.
Weird Habits of Covert narcissist
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
