The fourth type of gift is the one that proves they do not know you at all; we call this the identity eraser. You could be married to this person for 10, 15, or 20 years. You could share a bed, kids, or a life, and then on your anniversary, they hand you something that truly makes you question your reality. Maybe you have been a vegetarian for five years, and they buy you a gift certificate to a steakhouse. Maybe you hate the color gold, and they buy you a gold chain. Maybe you love reading, and they buy you a vacuum cleaner. It’s baffling. You stand there holding this thing, thinking, “Have you ever listened to a single word I’ve said?” The answer is no.
But it’s darker than that: it’s not just that they don’t listen; it’s that they refuse to see you. They’re interacting with a fantasy version of you in their heads—a version that likes what they like or a version that serves them. Nothing in between. This gift is proof that, to them, you are not a separate human being with unique tastes; you are just an extension of them. And when the gift does not match your soul, it causes a deep, lonely dissonance where you realize you are completely alone in this relationship.
Number Five: The Trojan Horse
The fifth type of gift is the one that just creates more work for you, which we call the Trojan Horse. It looks like a gift on the outside, but inside it is full of soldiers ready to attack your peace. This is when they buy you a puppy you didn’t ask for. To the world, it’s, “Look, he got her a puppy,” but to you, it’s sleepless nights, potty training, wet bills, and a massive responsibility that falls 100% on your shoulders because they certainly are not going to walk it. Or maybe it’s a luxury car that you cannot afford to insure, or that puts a massive debt in your name. They get the glory of being the provider, but you get the stress of the maintenance.
This is a sabotage tactic. You have to understand that by overloading you with responsibilities disguised as gifts, they keep you tired. They keep you stressed. When you are tired and stressed, what happens? You don’t have the mental bandwidth to fight back or plan an exit. They are gifting you a burden to weigh you down.
Number Six: Cheap Trash After Self-Indulgence
5 Downfalls Narcissists Trigger When They Mess With a Dark Empath
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