The narcissistic family is like a beehive, and there is one common collective, singular mindset that runs every single member. The main narcissist, the matriarch or the patriarch, and then the extensions. These extensions are carbon copies of each other; they do not think for themselves. And that is what happens with narcissists. It’s so stupid, it’s so immature, but that is how it is. They stay loyal to those who defend them, and they defend each other, no matter how big the mistake is. And you might ask me, “Do they know that they are doing this? Are they that stupid?” Well, they’re not stupid. They know that this other narcissistic member or this person has done something wrong, but they do not want this person to feel the shame, because if they were to be ashamed, then that would mean the entire hive will be set on fire. It is the shame for each one.
3. They are deeply enmeshed with each other
They are deeply enmeshed with each other. What does that mean? That simply means they do not have their own true self. As I was explaining to you using the metaphor of a beehive, now let’s try to understand it further. It’s like they operate for each other. They are nothing but a reflection of the major narcissistic false self that this parent passed down to his children and all other members. There’s only one member who does not put up with that BS, who does not absorb that in. And guess which member is that? A scapegoat or a black sheep. Rest, whosoever enables a narcissist becomes a narcissist in one way or another. If they lose their true self, they become the false self of a narcissist. And wherever there is enmeshment, there is no individuality. Meaning, they don’t think for themselves, they do not feel for themselves; their beliefs are common family beliefs.
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