When a narcissist is alone, the most obvious thing you would think they could do is visit adult websites or spy on you. But that’s not where the worst of them stop. They do heinous things that are not only gross but totally embarrassing. If you were to watch them doing these things, you would not believe your own eyes. That is how diabolical these hidden actions are. Let’s talk about them one by one.
Number one: they simulate your death—A narcissist’s sick fantasy. Some narcissists go to a strange mental place when no one is around. One of the easiest things they do is mentally simulate your death. Of course, they don’t do this because they love you, or because they would miss you, or because they are exploring some worst-case scenario. They are checking something. They want to see if they would feel anything at all. Would they feel free? Would they be able to move on and finally be happy? Would they enjoy the power they would have in the situation? Or would they enjoy the sympathy of others as the grieving party? Or would they feel rage because even in death you would still receive more attention than they do? They might even cry, but please don’t mistake it for grief; it is self-pity. The tears are for the narcissist left behind, not for the person who is gone. In this sick rehearsal, they imagine people flocking to them, consoling them or praising their strength, while also not finding out who did the deed. They create imaginary conversations and funeral speeches where they still control the narrative. This fake death gives them a chance to test-drive your absence while fantasizing about how to rewrite your story in their favor. It’s certainly not love, as I said; it’s a rehearsal, a sick secret ritual where your humanity is reduced to a prop for their fantasy. This is how they murder you in their imagination when they cannot do it in reality. And understand, when a narcissist does this, when they start thinking about this stuff in a relationship, it either means it is becoming really dangerous, or you have given them a narcissistic injury big enough that they feel totally powerless before you.
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