Number four: the honeymoon. This is the ultimate violation in my opinion. The honeymoon is supposed to be the sacred start of your new life, a time explicitly and exclusively for you two. But with a narcissistic man, his mother is often included—sometimes literally invited along. He might say, “Oh, mom has never been to Hawaii. Let’s take her. She’ll stay in her own room.” But she doesn’t stay in her own room, does she? She’s at breakfast, she’s at dinner, knocking on your door at 8:00 a.m.
You are not a couple; you are a trio. You are the third wheel on your own honeymoon. Even if he doesn’t bring her, he may spend the entire honeymoon on the phone with her, Facetiming from the beach and wishing she were there.
This is a boundary violation of monumental proportions, destroying the sanctity of the marriage bed before you have even broken it in. It sends the message, “You will never have me to yourself. You will never be my number one. Even in our most private moments, she is watching.”
Number Five: The Divorce Court—The Final Destination
Number five: the divorce court. This is the final destination. The relationship has crumbled under the weight of his abuse and enmeshment. You find yourself in the courtroom or mediation room, ready to sever ties. And guess what? Who is sitting right next to him? Not his lawyer, but his mother. She is there holding his hand, whispering in his ear, glaring at you from across the table.
This is the moment the mask falls off completely. You realize you were never married to a man; you were married to a mother-son team. They act as a single organism. She is the one funding the lawyer, convincing him to hide assets, and rewriting history to portray you as the villain.
This is the place where the spouse replacement becomes official. She successfully eliminates you, her competition, and reclaims her property—him. She sits there with a look of triumph. She is not sad that her son’s marriage failed; she is relieved. She has him back.
It is a chilling sight because it confirms everything you suspected for years. You were fighting a losing battle against a bond that is unnatural and unbreakable. He is a child in a man’s body, looking to his mommy to save him from his mean wife.
Conclusion: Recognizing the Signs and Taking Action
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