Number four: Grow in your career. Find your hobbies, find your mojo, your spirit, your spark. Reignite it. I know it’s very difficult. I know it’s difficult for you to even brush your teeth sometimes. I know. You have my full compassion. I’m not pushing you to just be, feel motivated. That doesn’t work here. No, it doesn’t. But I want you to slowly stimulate the system. See, it has a lot of rust on it. You have to clean it up a little bit. That means stabilizing your life is a priority, but then what? After stabilizing your life, what happens next? You have to start finding yourself one more time, and that won’t happen automatically. You have to put in the effort. It is what it is. I know there’s a lot of injustice in all of that, but that’s how it has to be. You find your hobbies. What were you interested in, or what are you interested in if you remember it? If you can get in touch with all of that, what do you want to do next? How do you want to expand and grow? How do you want to manifest your maximum potential? How will that help you defeat the narcissist? Well, they wanted you to stay chained. That’s why they cut off your wings. They wanted you to live on breadcrumbs and accept the bare minimum. They had to keep you small to appear big, at least to their own ego. So now you have to grow bigger. Do a lot of things. Just do it. Narcissistic abuse healing is not just healing from the trauma. It is healing from all the social, cultural, societal, and religious brainwashing that limits you as a human being, even if it means going against the norms. Go, it’s fine. Do it. I’m not suggesting that you should become antisocial. No. What I’m suggesting is just let that go. What will he think? What will she think? Let it go. Be your authentic self and strive to live a life of integrity every single day of your life, and you will see the narcissist will ultimately lose. Your career, what was it before? If they forced you to leave your job, what do you want to do now? If your career was forced on you by them, do you want to change it? What were your authentic hobbies? Maybe you supported them in their hobbies and took a few of theirs. Are they really your hobbies, or do you just not like them? You did them because you wanted to, let’s say, stay with the narcissist. What do you want to authentically do? Who are you beyond what was superimposed on you by the narcissist? That is what will guide you. That’s the question.
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