Truth number four: Narcissists are terrified that you will discover they are not that special. They do not want to be seen as ordinary. Their entire identity is built on being exceptional because being average feels like death to them. You have probably felt this desperate energy around them, haven’t you? The constant need to prove themselves to be seen as unique, important, or irreplaceable. As an awakened empath, you can sense their panic when they think they are being seen as common. This fear drives so much of their behavior. They cannot just be loved for who they are because they do not believe who they are is enough. They tell you otherwise. They tell you you’re not enough. But this is the reality: they think they need to be the smartest, the most successful, the most attractive, or the most troubled (in the case of a covert narcissist) to be worthy of attention. The tragic irony is that their humanity, their flaws, their struggles, and the ordinary moments are what actually makes them lovable. But they are so afraid of being seen as imperfect that they never allow anyone to love their real self. They are performing 24/7, exhausting themselves in trying to maintain an image—the false self of specialness—that ultimately isolates them from genuine connection.
Truth number five: Narcissists will never change, and deep down, they do not want to. The final and perhaps most devastating truth is one that awakened empaths resist accepting. Narcissists will never truly change, and on some level, they do not want to. This isn’t because they cannot; it is because their entire sense of self depends on maintaining their current reality. You have probably sensed this stubborn resistance even when they claim they want to change. As an awakened empath, you can feel that beneath any promises or tears, there is a fundamental unwillingness to do the real work. They may go through the motions of therapy or self-improvement, but you can sense they are just learning new ways to manipulate, not to change. The only person that changes in such a relationship is you. Their change would require them to face the full extent of the damage they have caused, to feel genuine remorse, and to rebuild their entire identity from the ground up. This feels like psychological death to them. It is a psychological death. So they choose to remain in their familiar patterns of destruction. They convince themselves and others that they are trying to change. They may have moments of insight or make temporary adjustments by becoming who you wanted them to be, but you can feel that these are surface-level modifications designed to keep you in their web, not genuine transformation.
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