Number three: Their pupils stay dilated longer, addicted to the chaos that no longer exists. A narcissist’s nervous system is not wired for peace; it is wired for chaos. Their sense of aliveness comes from emotional turbulence. They thrive on drama, control, argument, seduction, manipulation, and so on. All of these create spikes in adrenaline and dopamine; it gives them a high, a thrill. It’s their drug. While you were in their life, they kept that supply going by constantly creating emotional highs and lows. They pushed your buttons, then offered comfort—high highs, low lows. They caused fear, then offered safety. They created instability, then sold you the illusion of resolution. It was a cycle of chaos that gave their body a biochemical rush. Now that you’re gone, there is silence, and that silence becomes unbearable. Their body starts craving the old high, but it doesn’t come, not even from new sources of supply. Their pupils stay wider for longer periods—a subtle sign that their body is still stuck in hyperarousal. We call them black or demonic eyes; they are wide for danger even though there is no threat present. You were the danger and the safety in one. Now they are left with just a body addicted to the high of manipulating someone who no longer responds. This can lead to restlessness, insomnia, pacing, eye twitching, and a general look of being on edge all the time. Some may try to recreate the chaos elsewhere, but it never hits the same because no one else was ever as emotionally invested as you were, and they know it very well. This is how they get trauma bonded with you—in a very crazy, disgusting, and twisted way.
Number four: Their hands shake subtly. Why? Because there is so much rage, and it has no place to go. Rage is one of the narcissist’s most sacred tools—not necessarily screaming or violence, but the deeper simmering type. The rage that lives in their body like a constant threat keeps bubbling. While you were in their life, they released it on you in small jabs, cold silences, condescending tones, emotional outbursts, and cruel games. That release gave their nervous system some kind of relief. But now there is no one to lash out at, no one who will absorb the impact of their hatred, resentment, and insecurity. So the rage stays inside; it builds up in their muscles, their bones, their hands, and eventually, the tension shows. Their hands start trembling; they crack their knuckles more; they fidget; they press their fingers together, trying to squeeze the storm out through their skin. You were the person who unconsciously absorbed their emotional sewage. Now they are left to sit in it alone. The rage doesn’t disappear; it gets trapped, and trapped emotion eventually spills into the physical realm. They may develop chronic tension, migraines, digestive issues, or even insomnia—not because they are experiencing some kind of heartbreak, but because their emotional regulator—you— is no longer available.
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