They leak truths in controlled doses. When the heat is too strong and they know they cannot hide everything, they release small fragments of the truth. These truths are carefully chosen; they never reveal enough to incriminate themselves fully. They reveal just enough to make it look like they are being honest and self-aware. They may say something like, “Yeah, I made mistakes,” but leave out the scale of the damage or the cruelty behind those mistakes. They frame these confessions as moments of vulnerability when, in reality, it’s a calculated distraction. By doing this, they control the narrative, deciding which parts of the truth the world sees and which parts remain buried. They know that if they sprinkle a few admissions here and there, people will believe they are remorseful, making them look human, even humble. Underneath, their goal is to control the damage and ensure that no one sees the full picture. If anyone tries to expose them, they can point to their earlier honesty and say they have already owned up to their mistakes, making the accuser look obsessive or vindictive.
Number Three: Grooming a Replacement Flying Monkey
They groom a replacement flying monkey. When their usual enablers either step back or are too tainted by association, they recruit someone new. This person is usually naive, emotionally vulnerable, or indebted to the narcissist in some way. It could be someone who owes them a favor, someone new to the social group, or someone who craves their approval. The narcissist feeds this person a filtered version of the story, painting themselves as the misunderstood victim. They talk about how much pain they’re in, how unfairly they’re being treated, and how people have turned against them without cause. Over time, this new recruit starts defending the narcissist fiercely because they believe they are protecting someone innocent from a cruel world. This new flying monkey becomes their public shield, doing the defending, the arguing, and the discrediting of others. The narcissist stays in the background, appearing to take the high road while the new recruit does the dirty work. This person has no history with the narcissist, so they appear clean in the eyes of others. No one suspects them of being manipulated because they seem to act out of compassion. This is something I have personally experienced. Have you experienced it as well? Let me know in the comments.
Number Four: Weaponizing Their Own Decline
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